MY DARK LIGHT

I don’t believe in anguish below

Or the possibility of solace above

No (dis)courage reigns in those two imaginaries

As I find no redemption in hiding under the cloak of religion

But absolute freedom in the captivity of nothingness

In spite of all the sermons, insidious mastery of hymns

I still deem it vain for all flock of this faith to burst into clamor, condemning
Pinning weighs on depravity

Ironical you say? I know

Our mutual disdain compels me to silence

Because I betray myself too
As my flood of reminiscence would attest

Any moment when my preconscious mind stutters 

I’m cognizant of the now

The past and sentient of the mights in time foreseen

It’s just me, you, them and us

That precocious kid languishing in squalor, the hell!?

That prestigious scalawag laden with riches, good heavens!

That agnostic (Freethinker) prodded for his “faith”

That vicar who’s a kid-dler

That patriarch ye hope hogs award the totem

All of THEM

Who cry for madder lucidity

But remember, ye hope hogs

When you pray, pray to yourself

And for yourself

I’m one acquainted with hope in my past

When hope was the only light that night

After we lowered a dear one to unearthly height,

And depth, far deep than my wounds

I dream through the twilight

When dusk wears its mask

When goodbyes are pleasantries

When shadows overshadow faith

I have courage in death, more than life and heartbeats

Because I’m sentient that my day will have no goodbyes

I won’t hear the nightingale

The insidious hymns too

I won’t pain

Nor will I hear the showers

That make the dewdrops wet

When faint hearted ones are full of fret

When leaves fall from my grave

Because  I won’t rise

For I am practicing to die.


© Melchowistz 2014.