Of Clueless Bimbos and Innocent Poets

There`s nothing that irks me to the core more than a stupid bimbo judging me, misinterpreting my actions or reading the wrong signs, Just because I`ve posted a poem to your inbox, timeline or even whatsapped you doesn`t mean I wrote it for you. In my entirety, I`ve only penned poems for one person, only one (And it’s all apparent in my blog), so you thinking I`m writing love poems or whatever shit your pea sized brain adduces to think leaves more to question. I only share my work for the mere fact that I`m a poet, or even just because I have your number, and not because I wanna get in your panties! Noo, never, get that shit clear. Why I`m ranting? That`s a good question and you`re right, I`m gonna answer you.

In the spate the recent shortcomings I`ve encountered with several lasses in the past couple of days, I need to set some records straight. I would have levitated while meditating but you wouldn`t understand.

Wednesday morning, present time 11AM, I`m maneuvering my way from the Westlands traffic when this lady I had a little something something with pulls me back with jubilant shrieks like she just discovered fire, I`m never the lad to play incognito, so I play along albeit having grudges from the past, (see this female snubbed countless phone calls and texts from me for no apparent reason). So, here I am with miss chatty chatty going on about how dashing I look and all that. But it seems all phoney and shit, so I apprehend her asking why she ignored me and why she had to pull me from traffic like I`m some mayor in her heart. Her answer literally melts my heart, “You know bae(Don`t call me bae you nuncho!), you wrote me those poems and I thought that you were too into me” I`m thinking, “I`m sorry, what? I wrote you poems? When? Why? Do you know what poems are? Then she goes on to say, “ But I forgave you, and why I pulled you over? Well you seem to be doing good in life, the suits, the busy and focused nature of your walks….” Not to brag but I don`t blame her, I mean the Italians are looking all dashy (I just bragged there, didn`t I?...

This is not the only instance I`ve encountered, I`ve had the same with a few other ladies. Their case is simply gloating (and making me look bad) on how I`m forcing myself unto them through writing poems to them, and come to think of it, people (read girls) should really know that most of my shit is really sentimental and emo, and that`s just it, I find happiness in sadness and the only way I can bring that out is through writing.

I`m never the kind to beat around the bush, I`m a straight up fella, if I want the cookie, you damn right I`ll act on that, but I`ll never rely on my words, so if you think that me sharing my poems equates to a cookie plea, you better smell the goddamn coffee and wake the eff up! Now, I realize I can drop em panties to knee size by penning a few nice words but its never what it is. I only share my work because I need to, and because I feel that people can relate to my work. So, all of you lasses who think I`m penning for you, may you choke on dick! With that said, you can now go back to whatever shitty life you lead!