Monday 16 December 2013

I Teach Myself to Bleed

I never feared the unseen; I never did, until my soul landed in a peculiar place, full of clocks on reverse. I saw a glim of hope, hanging on a portrait of a hanging man. For a moment there, I thought I chased the wrong footsteps. But my dark thoughts about the bright future convinced me otherwise. Through the addendums on eulogies, the dark clouds on a sunny day, the ticks, the tocks and talks about my sanity, the words within will always light my soul.

Sometimes, like the present, our mouths get less void from the uninvited tongues of other hapless souls. The usual strays in dark alleys and lonely pathways beckon us to be saner, unlike the rest. And on such missions, as we try to save ourselves from ourselves, our past, wishes and regrets enter from the back, with sharp daggers, scepters and wriggling sacks, scribbling and tangling between our ears.


Last week, she said my eyes were fading by the hour, and blamed me for wanting to stay. She then said I was crazy, and it made her crazy, that some glam always stays in me. There was no alert for emergency; my friends said I had to have somebody, to save myself from the imaginary and invisible pain. With here there, I was on a blissful wagon, then I was done, and my friends again told me to watch out, and that it changes the speed of life when one falls in another and fails to get out or painfully does so.

Blankets always give me a bittersweet feeling, one time its nice comfort and the other I want bodily comfort instead, one that offers toppings on the side. Warmth and comfort have the same effect, as well as the same different meaning. Just like my hopes and dreams. Beyond them all, and exceeding my dreams, I now have faith in fate, and pin my vision on destiny. And now, since I can’t pen all the clogged up thoughts, I beg to leave, but I won’t leave these paintings behind, the dangling souls give life a better meaning. I have imagined, and foreseen how my life will be when I log on and off and ultimately leave. But when I smile, it means I`m falling apart.

4 comments:

  1. I can actually visualize every word almost touch the emotions in it.
    I like it

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  2. Beautiful. I was hanging on every word.

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  3. one word,WOW. this is such an emo poem..the negative emotions so intricately woven,it makes me want to read and discover, dissect and open them up. and your use of oxymoron is beautiful."a glim of hope hanging on the portrait of a hanging man " "the dark clouds on a sunny day " and when u said "but when i smile it means I'm falling apart ",i almost cried, it evokes that much from me.and then it has this feeling that you are performing it to an audience at the end. your style is unique, its mwaah its you. i simply love it and would never suggest you change it but to get better and better.

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