IN MY SENSES

I`m looking so hard in the mirror but I sadly don’t fit my skin. I still see the scars, they serve as stars sometimes, when I need my past to shine for my present, and remind me that the past was a lesson. I go to all the places we went to in my mind, I tell strangers of our secrets, I still see my heart in your eyes, so fragile and exposed.

I feel your sympathy in my heartbeat, I lost myself to you, then I lost you. They said I'd write a book someday, About a boy who'd always strayed, And a girl who took the fog away. Then you would come back to my arms without delay. Yes, with a smile on my face. And I would not be lost for long. So every now and then I get sad, yes it's true, Well you've known me long enough now baby its nothing new, Like when I'm feeling bad, like when I feel sad.

They say love is blind, and true it is, I lost my sight of sense. Along with my other instincts. I don’t know if I can give my all again. For I fear to fall with pain. Will your feelings pause when they see me again? Now that I was lost with your heartbeat, a heartbeat I once I owned. Under every scar in my tissue is a battle I won or lost, but now I can’t stop waging the war since I know who I am. The suicide of love took away all that matters and buried the remains in an unmarked grave.

The love we shared was give and take, and I was always game to play along, but things were never the same. Yesterday I lied,that the story ends with you on my side, yesterday I cried, that the story never ends with you on my side. I should have loved you less, before you slept away. But all in all, I hope I gave you everything you wanted, everything you needed, I could give anything just to hold you once more, I should have loved you more, before you slept away.

In  broad daylight I try to stage a fight, but your heart is cold as ice, I struggle to make, the ultimate destiny for infinity, and the last thing I hear is the blast of an ego. But I wouldn’t be held responsible, you fell in love in the first place. My best friends took weeks to forgive and forget her for snatching me off them, but this girl took days to get her vows checked by the vicar, they won’t neither be held responsible, you fell in love in the first place.

You found your world, embedded in your guilt, wish I could find the words to heal your conscience. Yes, you made your vows, under the blankets full of your flaws, pain of the groom, for having to get a real groom. You`ll never find the words of forgiveness solemnly.

If I have to wear your flesh again, I no longer want their cloth again, so never preach to them cause no one ever listens to you. Your words don’t leave us with hope anymore, there`s no mercy in your words or deeds, and I`m afraid I`ve lost the fight. I`m just a painful reminder, another pierce in yours and their eyes. Sadly though, no matter how many times you steal my heart, and no matter how many times you want my heart, I still won’t be available for much longer.